Wait, cigarettes are bad for you? But I thought they were full of vitamins and stuff!; or, let's port one of my half-finished blogs over here

So, it's approaching the end of January. Chances are that, if you'd made any New Year's Resolutions, that they'll be a long-gone, distant memory by now.

January 1st - "Start going to the gym 5 times a week? I'm on it!"
January 2nd - "Ah, screw this, it's cold outside"

If one of your resolutions was to give up smoking, then maybe you should try the 'anti-nicotine diet'.

Dunhill De-Nicotea cigarette holder, 1950

It's recommended by doctors (I assume the kind of doctors who operate in back streets and will gladly forge prescriptions for a price) Wow, I bet you can feel your energy and health come back with every puff. And look, every 11 days (why 11 days, who did this study?) you take in almost a whiskey glassful of nicotine and tar. That's some scientific measurements there.

"OK, we just need to take some blood for testing."
 "How much, nurse?"
"Oh, about a whiskey glassful".

See, you don't have to give up your favourite cigarettes. Sure, feel free to give up your dislikeable ones, but not your favourites.

Alternatively, you could just give up smoking. Or continue smoking. Your call.