Jam to-morrow and jam yesterday - but never jam to-day; or, why bacon jam is a thing and you must make it

UPDATE: I originally started writing this back in mid-December 2014. But then I forgot to finish it, hence the reason why it looks like I'm talking about Christmas in January; I am not that organised. Also, I forgot to take photos of the finished article, so that explains the lack of visuals apart from my wonky photo of the ingredients taken on my phone. So, for the moment, just imagine what it looks like.

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Remember when I said way back in March that you should start saving up all your jars so you could make delicious foodie treats for Christmas? Well, did you? Of course you did! And bacon jam is one of the main reasons why you should be saving your jars. Not only is it full of deliciousness, but it's also dead easy to make. In fact, if you're really running behind on your Christmas gift-giving, then you could quite easily pop to the shops to grab these ingredients and have it done that same day. You may even already have most (if not all) of the parts already in your cupboards. Bonus!

Before I continue this post, I'd just like to point out something; don't be scared by the thought of the words 'bacon' and 'jam' together. This isn't some pork/fruit conserve hybrid, if anything it's more of a relish. So if the idea of bacon jam makes you queasy, just call it bacon relish instead. Although, I must admit, bacon jam does sound more intriguing.

Anyway, I recently came across this recipe via the timesucking wondrousness that is Pinterest. It immediately got pinned to my board Foodie Gifts and the next day I made it. And it was awesome-o!

Follow Layla's board Foodie gifts on Pinterest.
The original recipe can be found on Dinner with Julie; here I've just expanded on the cooking instructions and also Anglicized it for those who don't work in cup measurements. This recipe makes about 450g (1lb). You may have a little left over, which is the perfect excuse to taste test it and have it on a sandwich.
Ingredients

• 500g unsmoked back bacon
• 1 small onion, chopped
• 4 or 5 cloves of garlic, chopped or crushed
• 100g soft dark brown sugar
• 120ml coffee (hot or cold)
• 60ml maple syrup (NOT maple flavour syrup, the real deal)
• 1 tbsp balsamic vinegar
• 1 tbsp wholegrain mustard

You will notice that I am using frozen garlic. Some call it lazy; I call it efficient.

Equipment

• 450g (1lb) glass jar, sterilised
• Large saucepan
• Spatula
• Jam jar seals, labels etc. to make it look pretty (especially if you're giving it away for gifts)

Method

1. Chop up your bacon into bite-sized bits. I did mine quite small (about 1cm snippets), 'cos when I first made this I did them in rough bits and it ended up being rather 'rustic'. It still tasted great, just wasn't as pretty (and for gift-giving, we need pretty). Also, I used scissors to snip the bacon; feel free to use a knife if you're a masochist.
2. Bung the chopped up bacon in your saucepan and fry it until it's cooked. Unless you've bought some fancy-dancy premium bacon, chances are the bacon will release its salty water brine solution it was cured in. Bleurgh. Easiest thing to do to compensate for this is just to cook it a little longer, so the water evaporates. If you'd prefer, feel free to pour off the water into a suitable container; DON'T POUR IT DOWN THE SINK! The last thing you want is for the bacon fat to congeal in your drains and clog up your waste pipe. Trust me, I know of such things*. 
3. Remove the bacon from the pan and add the onion and garlic. Cook until it's soft and translucent. We don't want crunchy, frizzled fried onion here, we're not making hotdogs. If there's some yummy bacon stuff at the bottom of the pan, add a splash of water to help mingle the onion and to stop it from sticking. You shouldn't need to add any oil, but if you do just add a drop. You should have enough fat from the bacon. If you've got too much fat from the bacon, then drain most of it off before cooking the onion and garlic.
4. Once the onion and garlic is cooked, throw in all the other ingredients and give it a good stir. Let it come to the boil, then reduce the heat to medium. All cookers are different, so you decide what 'medium' is for yours. My cooker hob goes from 1 - 6, so I put it on 3, which ended up being just about right.
   Don't put a lid on it, as we want the water to evaporate and turn it into jammy bacon. If your kitchen is steaming up, open a window.
5. Let it simmer and do its thing for about 30 minutes. HOWEVER, due to the high sugar content, keep checking it every 5 minutes. Give it a good stir, keep an eye on it. The last thing you want is to end up with a burnt sugary mess at the bottom of your pan. You may find a little of the sugar gets caught on the bottom, especially if you've been busy doing other things and not watching it intensely. That's OK; just give it a good stir and it'll still be good.
6. When it's done, take it off the hob and let it cool. It will thicken up as it cools, so don't worry too much if it's a little runnier than you want. However, don't expect miracles. If it's still really runny after 30 minutes, keep it bubbling and just keep checking on it every 5 minutes until it's ready.
7. As it's cooling, give it a stir every so often. This is to make sure the bacon fat gets redistributed through the jam; at my first attempt at making this I just put it straight into a jar after it was done. But when I looked at it the next morning, I saw that there was a bacon fat ripple effect going on. It still tasted great, but it didn't look particularly appetising. And remember, if you're using this for presents then it needs to look good; pressies need pretty.
8. After it's cooled down, place it in a cooled, sterilised jar. Make it presentable by putting labels, ribbons and gift-tags on it. Done!

* before you start 'tut-tut'ing about my fat-down-sink catastrophe, I'd just like to point out that it wasn't me that did it. It was the previous tenant of my house. And I didn't discover this problem until my sink started flooding one Christmas Eve and I had to call out the emergency plumber and also run out to the shops to buy mops and buckets while everybody else was panic buying gifts and wrapping paper. Oh, and I'd only just moved in a week before. So, yeah, you can imagine what that Christmas was like!