Paper towels - they're not Mafia hit-men; or, it's another Rock 'n' Roll Martian adoptee

The job of the copywriter is a hard one. If you're selling fancy cars or big houses or you're 'Employee of the Month' at McMann and Tate , I'm sure the superlatives come thick and fast.

I'm sure the job is much harder when you have to sell this.

Gala paper towels, 1965

For one thing, it doesn't look like they're too sure that it is the prettiest paper towel ever made. Well, at least it's the newest, that's something! I can just picture the meeting they had:

- Hmmm, how can we really demonstrate that this is some of the prettiest paper towels around?
- Ooooh, I dunno....how about we shove a rose in it?

It's not too clear where they were going with the disclaimer 'Gala has a soft and silent strength...' Did they get it confused with a Mafia hit-man? Oh no, wait a minute, they can't have, as this particular paper towel comes by [those qualities] honestly. Honestly? So, don't worry, it didn't jump a guy in the back alley for that soft and silent strength. Phew, that's a relief. Don't want a dishonest paper towel in my house, not like that Bounty stuff.

They clearly couldn't come up with a decent tag-line either. 'Gala - a really wonderful new towel' isn't exactly laying on the praise with a trowel. Makes you wonder what the tag-lines were that they didn't go with:

Gala - the reasonably adequate new towel 

Gala - it's an alright new towel  

Gala - the unremarkable new towel

Also, I might paint my kitchen so-right yellow. I think it'll be a winner.