The Danhausen Spite Tour 2024 day 1; or, Ring of Honor 22 February Las Vegas, NV
After two months of cyberbullying Tony over lack of Danhausen on AEW TV, the Spite Tour 2024 kicks off with a return to Ring of Honor (did someone say 'compromise'?)
Yeah, I'm gonna hazard a guess that this was Tony's way of appeasing the fans and, I must admit, it worked to some extent. For one thing, the Twitter post announcing the match had a ton of engagement in a short space of time (a cursory glance suggests it gained more interaction than any of their other posts) and I'm hoping Tony took note of that 'cos we all know Tony loves his stats and metrics. I do wonder if this match alone led to a surge in HonorClub subscriptions. Hmmmmm. |
| Why does Danhausen look like he's been taken by surprise? Where am I? Who are you? What do you mean I've been booked?! |
So, we have a singles match against Brandon Cutler, accompanied by Colt Cabana. Current close friend of CM Punk against former close friend of CM Punk. I'm sure the internet is going to be totally normal and not at all weird about this match.
[0.5 nanoseconds later]
I regret to inform you that the internet is being weird about this match. The usual IWC suspects all did variations of 'looooool, this is the closest we'll get to Punk versus The Elite', which was mildly amusing the first time but the joke got very boring, very quickly {sigh}.
Anyhoo, Danhausen arrives into the arena to a huge amount of cheer, chanting and crowd appreciation. Ah, the roar of the greasepaint, the smell of the crowd. But what's this? I spy a jar of teeth! Oooh, going old school I see. The first half of the match is good ol' comedy schtick, which is to be expected, really. Hilarity ensues when Cutler thinks Danhausen has cursed him, but can't work out why nothing has happened. Surprise, it's the cold spray cans that have been cursed! Cue the cans malfunctioning and both Brandon and Colt repeatedly spraying themselves in the face. Cutler then puts Danhausen into an airplane spin, leaving them both dizzy and falling about the place (I must admit, I did legit LOL at this spot).
With the comedy antics out of the way, it's time to get down to some actual wrestling, which is good because [Lunch Lady Doris voice] "there's very little wrestling in this wrestling match". There's an exchange of blows, with the 'yays' going to Danhausen and the 'boos' going to Cutler. Danhausen also gets a 'teeth, teeth, teeth' chant going, but Cabana interferes so he gets sprayed in the face with cold spray. This leaves Cutler open for a jar full of teeth to be poured into his mouth, followed by a pin. 1-2-3 and Danhausen is the victor!
SCORE: 5 outta 5 spray cans. It's a fun match and it's great to hear the crowd fully invested in Danhausen.
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